Back in Jan. 2000 when my sister passed away, I compiled a group of poems for her wake to express how much we loved and missed her; but also to say that we understood that she loved and missed us, too. I passed on one of these poems to Shan the other day and told her that I it reminded me of Vickie. That poem was The Quilt, included here. Since then, because I have not been feeling well, I've been going through the folder I have for my sister on my computer and I located a few poems that I think Vickie would've chosen to express her feelings for Kevin and all of us. I'm not sure how this new fangled board works but hopefully they'll come out right. The first poem, When Tomorrow Starts Without Me, is one that I frequently go back to to find comfort and I hope that it brings you a bit of comfort too Kevin.

I still can't believe she's gone, even though I can hear her voice each day in my mind saying "Be good to yourself" when I think of pushing myself and logging into the game. So if you've been currious as to where I've disappeared to, I'm just following orders that I should've followed long ago, from one of my dear friends. I'm being good to myself and allowing myself the time necessary to heal so that I can come back and have blonde moments all over the guild

*hugs*
Julz
(aka Bellea, Snowstarr, Wyndsinger & Celila)

WHEN TOMORROW STARTS WITHOUT ME

Copyright © David M Romano December 1993

When tomorrow starts without me, and I'm not there to see;
If the sun should rise and find your eyes all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry the way you did today,
while thinking of the many things we didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me, as much as I love you,
and each time you think of me I know you'll miss me too;

But when tomorrow starts without me, please try to understand,
that an angel came and called my name and took me by the hand,
and said my place was ready in heaven far above,
and that I'd have to leave behind all those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away, a tear fell from my eye,
for all life, I'd always thought I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for and so much yet to do,
it seemed almost impossible that I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays, the good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared and all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday, I thought, just for awhile,
I'd say goodbye and kiss you and maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized that this could never be,
for emptiness and memories would take the place of me.

And when I thought of worldly things that I'd miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did, my heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven's gates, I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me, from His great golden throne,

He said, "This is eternity and all I've promised you.
Today for life on earth is past but here it starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow, but today will always last,
and since each day's the same day, there's no longing for the past.
But you have been so faithful, so trusting, and so true.
Though there were times you did some things you knew you shouldn't do.
But you have been forgiven and now at last you're free.
So won't you take my hand and share my life with me?"

So when tomorrow starts without me, don't think we're far apart,
for every time you think of me, I'm right here in your heart.

"THE QUILT"

Author Unknown

As I faced my Maker at the last Judgment, I knelt before the Lord along with the other souls. Before each of us laid our lives; like the squares of a quilt, in many piles. An Angel sat before each of us sewing our quilt squares together into a tapestry that is our life. But, as my Angel took each piece of cloth off the pile, I noticed how ragged and empty each of my squares was. They were filled with giant holes. Each square was labeled with a part of my life that had been difficult, the challenges and temptations I was faced with in everyday life. I saw hardships that I had endured, which were the largest holes of all.

I glanced around me. Nobody else had such squares. Other than a tiny hole here and there, the other tapestries were filled with rich color and the bright hues of worldly fortune. I gazed upon my own life and was disheartened. My Angel was sewing the ragged pieces of cloth together, threadbare and empty, like binding air. Finally the time came when each life was to be displayed, held up to the light, the scrutiny of truth. The others rose; each in turn, holding up their tapestries. So filled their lives had been.

My Angel looked upon me, and nodded for me to rise. My gaze dropped to the ground in shame. I hadn't had all the earthly fortunes. I had love in my life, and laughter. But there had also been trials of illness and death, and false accusations that took from me my world as I knew it. I had to start over many times. I often struggled with the temptation to quit, only to somehow muster the strength to pick up and begin again. I had spent many nights on my knees in prayer, asking for help and guidance in my life. I had often been held up to ridicule, which I endured painfully; each time offering it up to the Father in hopes that I would not melt within my skin beneath the judgmental gaze of those who unfairly judged me. And now, I had to face the truth. My life was what it was, and I had to accept it for what it had been.

I rose and slowly lifted the combined squares of my life to the light. An awe-filled gasp filled the air. I gazed around at the others who stared at me with eyes wide. Then, I looked upon the tapestry before me. Light flooded the many holes, creating an image; the face of Christ. Then our Lord stood before me, with warmth and love in His eyes. He said, "Every time you gave over your life to Me, it became My life, My hardships, and My struggles. Each point of light in your life is when you stepped aside and let Me shine through, until there was more of Me than there was of you.

May all our quilts be threadbare and worn, allowing Christ to shine through.

I'M FREE

Author Shannon Lee Moseley.

Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free

I'm following the path God has chosen for me.

I took His hand when I heard him call;

I turned my back and left it all.

I could not stay another day,

To laugh, to love, to work or play.

Tasks left undone must stay that way;

I've now found peace at the end of day.

If my parting has left a void,

Then fill it with remembered joys.

A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss;

Oh yes, these things, I too will miss.

Be not burdened with times of sorrow

Look for the sunshine of tomorrow.

My life's been full, I savored much;

Good friends, good times, a loved ones touch.

Perhaps my time seems all to brief;

Don't lengthen your pain with undue grief.

Lift up your heart and peace to thee,

God wanted me now-He set me free

COME WITH ME
Author: Rhonda Braswell

The Lord saw you getting tired
And a cure was not to be,
So He put his arms around you
And whispered, "Come with me."

With tearful eyes, we watched you suffer
And saw you fade away,
Although we loved you dearly,
We could not make you stay.

A golden heart stopped beating,
A beautiful smile at rest;
God broke our hearts to prove
He only takes the best.

It's lonesome here without you
We miss you so each day,
Our lives aren't the same
Since you went away.

When days are sad and lonely,
And everything goes wrong,
We seem to hear you whisper,
"Cheer up and carry on."

Each time we see your picture,
You seem to smile and say,
"Don't cry, I'm in God's keeping,
We'll meet again someday."

LETTER FROM HEAVEN

Author: Richard Mahaffey Copyright 1995

To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say.

But first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.

I'm writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with God above.

Here, there's no more tears of sadness; Here is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight.

Remember that I am with you every morning, noon and night.

That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through.

God picked me up and hugged me and He said, "I welcome you.

It's good to have you back again, you were missed while

you were gone. As for your dearest family, They'll be here later on.

There's so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man."

God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do.

And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.

And when you lie in bed at night the day's chores put to flight.

God and I are closest to you....in the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years.

Because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.

But do not be afraid to cry: it does relieve the pain.

Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.

I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned.

If I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand.

But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is o'er.

I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.

There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb.

But together we can do it by taking one day at a time.

It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too;

That as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.

If you can help somebody who's in sorrow and in pain;

Then you can say to God at night......"My day was not in vain."

And now I am contented....that my life was worthwhile.

Knowing as I passed along the way I made somebody smile.

So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low;

Just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go.

When you're walking down the street and you've got Me on your mind;

I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.

And when it's time for you to go....from that body to be free.

Remember you're not going.....you're coming here to Me.